Power Tools

Certain things draw men together in competitive, pack-like behavior. Nothing calls to men like power tools. Power tools equals testosterone equals manliness. While living in eastern North Carolina, we weathered several hurricanes. As one would expect, many of the tree roots pull from the ground, leaving the trees teetering dangerously. These muddy tangles are called root balls, I kid you not. There is something phallic about the whole thing...

Uprooted trees were the case in our yard. The morning after the storm, my husband stood next to a cock-eyed 75-foot tree, coffee mug in one hand, chain saw at his feet. One by one, the neighborhood men meandered over with bed head and ratty yard clothes. For about an hour, the five men walked around the tree making grand hand gestures. One would leave and return with a coil of rope. Another would leave and return with a fully equipped leather tool belt. Two men arrived with bigger chain saws.

A plan was taking shape. "Get more coffee!" my husband enthused, rubbing his palms together. "We're going to drop the tree between the two houses across the street."

"Oh boy..." I thought. From my front window, I could see other wives peaking around the curtains. I knew every mother was accounting for her children. The tension was mounting like High Noon.

Eventually the chain saws cranked up. The RPMs revved higher as the saw bit into the wood. Ermmm...ErERmmmm... crack cra-ack... Rebel yells...Va-voom! More yelling... Luckily, the jack pine fell between the two houses with only one piece of collateral damage, the portable basketball hoop. High-fives went all around! There were slaps on the back and goofy grins! Moreover, it didn't stop there. It was a joyful day spent in camaraderie, reducing the tree to mulch. 

We women can all share stories about the boys with toys. The topics are endless.  However, let us hope that the men do not get started on the ladies. Estrogen would provide a plethora of material for the verbal battle between the sexes.